I found myself listening to him, nodding my head in sympathy over his plight. When I caught myself, I looked around and found that, even though the waiting room was filled and everyone else could hear this man's very personal problems, no one was the least bit embarrassed to be hearing about it, or even paying that much attention. Just an ordinary conversation.
I think I'm going to put this under a cut here, because the next part got a bit away from me and it's long!
To Be A Soldier
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I have learned that I can do things I never thought possible, things I was always too afraid or too embarrased to try.
I learned the only limiting factor in my life is myself, and how I go about dealing with problems that arise is all up to me.
I have also learned to take pride in whatever it is that I'm doing, whether it be to pull weeds out of the cracks in the sidewalk for three hours straight, or walk guard duty for eight hours on a cold winter night.
I have worn my uniform proudly for the past three years, and I admit freely that I will miss it. It will be odd to not put on my uniform in the morning, to not have to be at formation first thing after I wake.
I will also miss the sound of Taps being played each night. I remember at Basic, lying in bed and wondering how I could survive one more day, and hearing those notes played outside our windows. How it gave me strength and courage to keep going.
To many people, the people who serve our nation are figure seen on the news, flashes of a face which holds little meaning other than an icon to be proud of. But for me....
My Company is deploying in the next few months. People I know and love and care for are going to be going to Iraq, and I would give almost anything to go with them. Yes, I am happy to be getting out, but at the same time I feel an intense sadness that I won't be there to experiance with them all that they will go through.
I have so many memories of friends and people I have worked with. Memories of five people crammed into a little shelter on a cold Korean night, trying to stay warm and laughing at little things. Of yelling at those same people when I discovered that someone had emptied almost a full can of Mountain Dew into my helmet, and I had to hold it against the heater for an hour and then have sticky hair for a week afterword.
I remember setting up a Christmas tree in my room with my roomate and a friend from my Platoon, and all the fun we had in decorating it.
And I remember walking a well worn path on guard duty with my best friend late into the night, so cold that even wearing five layers of clothing we were both nearly frozen.
I have met so many people, from so many backgrounds. People I never would have met or even associated with before I joined. I have fallen in love with a wonderful man, made friends that I will certainly keep for life, and shared adventures and hardships with people I have barely even met.
It will be very hard for me to leave the service, even though I know its time.
In my heart I honestly believe that everyone should serve their country, whether it be in the service or through volunteer work. This is a great nation that we live in. Despite what your political views may be, despite how you may feel about current events, the fact remains that this country is unique, and everything should be done to keep it strong.
I know, with every fiber of my being, that even though I take my uniform off for the last time in a few weeks, I shall still rise when I hear the National Anthem, shall still salute our flag as it passes, shall still cry when I hear the sound of Taps played at a funeral.
Becuase I have served with wonderful people, and know that I have followed in the footsteps of true heroes.
For myself, and all those who will be going into harms way, please, say a prayer and let them know that they are being thought of. Becuase I can tell you from experiance, when you are far away from home, it is very esay to forget that there are people who give a damn.
I have been privaleged to be part of the largest family in America. And for that, I do not regret one moment, one day, or one drop of blood that I have shed.
My only wish is that I could have done more.
I guess that they were looking for any contraband or drugs, and they found it. I'm sure we'll hear all about it tomorrow. As for now, I am going to enjoy a movie, some good fanfiction, and then off to bed. Night all!
Four hours later, the Military Police had searched everyone's room, throwing personal items on the floor and making a gerneral mess. Our cars were searched, and now we are currently confined to our rooms until further notice. Any attempts to leave are stopped by the MPs.
Plus, becuase our chain of command are geniuses, they want to do a room inspection today as well.
All in all, its been an interesting day. I'll let you all know when we're free again, lol. As of now, no one comes in, no one goes out.
I feel like I'm in prison, lol!
I know I haven't been around for a long time, and I'm sorry. The real world has been kicking my ass this past month, and I just don't know which way to turn. I feel like ripping my hair out some days, kicking people's stupid, annoying butts the next, and curling into a little ball the rest. Sigh.
At least now I have a plan for when I get out of the Army, which is looking to be about June or July. A lot sooner than I had thought, and I have mixed feelings. I know I bitch and complain a lot about it, but I truly will miss a lot of Army life. Its going to be strange being a civillian again, and I know its going to take me a while to become unmilitarized.
Anyway, just thougth I would stop in and let you know that I am still alive. I will be going to the field next week for 2 weeks, though, so I won't be around until May, pretty much.
Take care, everyone, and know that I am thinking of you. I miss you all, and hopefully things will settle down soon and I can get on with my life.
Just had a moment and thought I would fill you in on some major changes in my life.
Yesterday I was told of a decision I knew was coming. They are going to med-board me out of the Army. This means that in 3 to 6 months, I will be a civillian once more.
So the job hunt has started, as well as looking for a place to live, and the search for money has begun. Wish me luck!
Eladio and I are having a wonderful time, and I am trying not to think about him leaving next week. It will probably be about a year before I see him again.
Other than that, not much to report. I hope you are all doing well, and please forgive me if I have not read any of your posts for the past week. But I am trying to spend as much time with my fiance as possible. I am thinking of you all, so please take care.
Wednseday, we got up at 4 in the morning, left for the feild by 7, and spent the whole day lifing heavy objects and cursing. That night I was sent to another site, since the one I was on was having so much trouble, and they needed somebody with a little bit more experiance then me to straighten things out. Anyway, after we got to the new site, I am leaning against the wall of the shelter, when the next thing I know my Sgt is telling me, "Frankenfield, if your tired enough to sleep on your feet, go to bed!"
Who was I to complain? I haven't fallen asleep standing up since Basic, but I was soooooo tired!
Other than that, its been very, very cold over here, and we're still waiting to hear when we are supposed to come back, on the 3rd or the 4th. I am praying, and ask you too as well, in all seriousness, for the 3rd, because my fiance is coming in on the 4th.
I already told my sgt that come hell or high water I was going to meet him in the airport, and he could just write me up if we're not done in the motor pool by the time for me to leave. I don't think he beleived me.
I have to go now, and don't know when I'll be around a comptuer again. Take care, and if I don't respond to an email, its just me playing soldier. Sigh.
Well, my computer is finally fixed, for good this time. We ended up completely redoing the hard drive, so I lost a lot of stuff. Gayalondiel, I really hope that you got my email with the new story. If not, I guess I'll just have to try and re write it, since I lost a lot of my stories. But at least my computer has quite shutting itself off.
As of tomorrow, I'll be in the field, for about 10 days. So if you don't hear from me, once more :( , it's because I'm in the middle of nowhere playing soldier. Sigh.
Anyway, take care, all of you, and I'll try and write again soon.
Also, my fiance is coming to visit on the 4th (does happy dance and squees!) so I will also be rather, um, occupied until he leaves, snicker. I will still be on, just not that much.
I will be thinking of you, take care.
Not to mention that my grader was a real pain in the ass, and even though I did about 25 pushups, he only counted 6. 6!!!! I have never failed the pushups! I finally gave up, since he wasn't going to give me a break and actually count any of them.
Then I failed the situps, again, which just pissed me off, because I have been working on them for about a month.
And to top it all off, I failed my tape. Which means they are probably going to kick me out of the Army, see ya, don't let the door hit you on the way out.
I am miserable, sore, and just want to crawl into bed and forget this whole day happened.
And I still have to go to work.
Still, we are supposed to go the field either tonight or tomorrow, so I thought I would pop on and let you all know I may not be around a computer for a few days. Well, actually, more than a few. If you don't hear from me, it's just me playing Army.
Everyone take care, and I'll try and get back on as soon as possible. Not sure when that will be, but I'll try.
Take care everyone, and thanks to all of you who kept me in your prayers and thought.
At 630, they informed us that they were unprepared, and we were released to go about our normal Sgt's time training.
I want to go back to bed now. Please? Anyone? No? Ok.
At least I get off at 3 today.
Just some things that I have learned since I joined the Army. Cut for some adult themes and general grossness. The Army is mostly male oriented, after all.
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Well, those are some of the things I have learned while living in the Army. Isn't it nice to see what goes on behind the facade?
Also, my Sgt told me that I will be working out every day after 5, will be taped and weighed once a week, and will have to write down everything I eat and drink in a book I must carry with me.
Also, tomorrow we have to do pallet truck layouts, which on average takes anywhere from 6 to 8 hours. Plus, we are supposed to wash all the vehicles, which means we'll be working late either tomorrow or Wednesday.
I really just want to climb back into bed and pull the covers over my head, and forget that this week ever happened. Do you think Aragorn would be willing to put me to sleep for a few weeks?
I have never seen people drop like that before. Anyway, they're all fine, they just locked their knees, and we had cake and juice afterword. It was a nice ceremony, except for having to stand through it, and I am really glad I participated.
For those of you who don't know, PLDC is the Sgt training school. It's a month long, and you have to have basically EVERYTHING you were issued with you when you go. If you don't have it, you have to buy it.
It could be worse. I just don't think I would make a very good Sgt, and am quite happy with just being a Specialist. But it will look good on my resume when I get out, I guess.
Oh, well. I don't think I'll have to go, as I'll still be on profile for my knee. Of course, if they give me a permanant profile, then I'll be going in January. Ick.
Now for some good news. One of my friends just found out today that she is pregnant! She's been trying to have kids for five years, so we're all really happy for her. I think she's going to be a great mom, and I'm so glad she is finally getting her dream.
Well, that's all for now. Talk to you all later.
Well, after we got back Thursday night, and all the stuff was taken care of that needed to be finished, it was determined that we were to come in yesterday morning at 6 for a Brigade run. Yay.
Lucky for me, I am on profile for my knee, and got to just walk around for a bit until everyone came back. Then we worked in the motor pool until about 1630, when we were finally released. And boy did the parties start!
I just went to the mall and got myself a costume for Halloween. I'm going as Morticia Adams!
Stayed up until about 2 watching movies with a friend, then finally crashed. I've just been bumming and enjoying the fact that I don't have to work.
Oh, and our Colonel gave us Monday off as a Brigade Holliday, so I was doing the happy dance all day yesterday.
Three days of no work! Oh, I am so happy. Now I just have to get up the courage to start on the huge pile of laundry that is slowly growing in the corner of my room. Ten days with no access to a laundry room can make for some pretty funky smelling clothes.
Anyway, you all have a good day, and I'm going to get the finishing touches for my costume. I'm so looking forward to going to Tombstone tomorrow and enjoying a fun Halloween!