I fully agree with Shirebound here. Write, write and write. it does help. I also will encourage you to take just one day, one hour, one moment at the time. What you describe in the first two paragraphs sounds like my life at work at the moment, but there is always hope. Always. Take joy in the small things, simple things, and sum them up at the end of the day and see if there is possibly something, however samll or unsignificant that have given you joy througout the day.

(((piplover)))