I think I do understand what you mean. I have been working with fugitives from Bosnia for some years and many of them suffered from post traumatic stress disorder. It is said of the hobbits that they are like children when it comes to feelings. But a child that has suffered may seem to process the experience because it's soon again seen laughing but the wounds are deep nontheless. And there are things even the ones you love won't ever understand and you won't want to bother them.