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What I know now
I have spent the last two weeks in training for my new job, which is very demanding customer service. I just spent the last half hour on the phone with State Farm, and mentally ticking off all the things the lady did wrong. Wow. My trainer told us that after we were done with training, we would be kick ass customer service people, and he wasn't kidding. Even though I don't actually start on the phones until Friday, I was totally making a list of things I would have done differently if I was helping me. Customer service people, watch out! Now I really know what is good and bad customer service, I'm not going to settle, lol.
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Somewhere around the 84th time I called (okay, so maybe the fourth?) I got this guy who took my account number, listened through the entire recitation of events and then said "Yeah, can I get your account number again?" So I gave it to him and then he says "So, what seems to be the problem today, ma'am?" *blink* So I start the litany over again and he's making these little "uh-huh" noises and then - then! - he says "Did you try restarting it?" Which I'd already told him I'd done. Twice. And then things devolved because I'd been trying for two weeks to get this problem fixed and this guy was not listening to a damned word I was saying and was - in fact - speaking to me like I was stupid. So within a couple of minutes we're at this stage.
Me - "I've restarted the computer."
Him - "And it didn't help."
Me - "Nope. Still can't connect."
Him - "Is your network cable connected?"
Me - "Yes."
Him - "Are you certain?"
Me - "Yes."
Him - "You might need to restart it after you hook up the cable."
Me - "I did."
Him - "No, I mean after you hook up the cable."
Me - "I DID."
Him - "Hmmm. Are you sure it's connected to the right port?"
Me - "Is this conversation being recorded?"
Him - "Yes ma'am, for training purposes. Is that a problem?"
Me - "Oh, no. I just want to make sure someone's going to get this on tape."
Him - "Ma'am?"
Me - "You're not listening to me."
Him - "Well, ma'am, I'm trying, but you seem to be having difficulty getting your cable hooked up."
Me - "My cable is hooked up."
Him - "Then could you restart your computer, please?"
Me - *opening saved story* "Lex is... having fun. Smiles to himself and gets kissed for his trouble, Oz maneuvering over the gear shift and between Lex and the steering wheel very much like someone used to motor vehicle sex. Small, warm boy on his lap, surprisingly strong and callused hands on his scalp."
Him - "Ma'am?"
Me - "Oh, nothing. I've restarted."
Him - "Thank you. Is your computer working now?"
Me - "Nope. Still can't connect. Lex wants to get just as illegal as he possibly can and Oz is tonguefucking him so gently. Slow thrusts and slower circling licks. Tasting him as much as driving him insane and it's good to be tied for this. Good to be able to struggle against the too much and not enough."
Him - "Ma'am?"
And so on like that for about 20 minutes before I hung up on the bastard. And then switched to ATT that afternoon. It was sad. But also, hilariously funny.
Love, hugs and lava lamps,
Bronwyn
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*laughs*
Bronwyn