What I know now

[piplover]

I have spent the last two weeks in training for my new job, which is very demanding customer service.  I just spent the last half hour on the phone with State Farm, and mentally ticking off all the things the lady did wrong.  Wow.  My trainer told us that after we were done with training, we would be kick ass customer service people, and he wasn't kidding.  Even though I don't actually start on the phones until Friday, I was totally making a list of things I would have done differently if I was helping me.  Customer service people, watch out!  Now I really know what is good and bad customer service, I'm not going to settle, lol.  

Comments

[ansostuff.livejournal.com]

Good for you!

[piplover.livejournal.com]

Thanks! *Makes muscle pose*

[shirebound]

Sounds like you're getting good training, which shows that your company really cares about its customers.

[piplover.livejournal.com]

The training is excellent. I've learned so much in just two weeks, more than I thought possible.

[dreamflower]

I tell you, once you have done customer service yourself, you really won't settle for less than what you'd do yourself.

I know right away when I am not getting good service, and it totally affects whether I continue to patronize a business.

[piplover.livejournal.com]

Exactly! Now that I know the difference and what should be done, when it doesn't I get totally miffed. I kept wanting to say, "Can I talk to your manager?" But it was 9:30 at night and I was tired, lol.

[bronwynferchdai.livejournal.com]

Oh sweetie. I hope for all our sakes that you never have to call me (or vice versa). I'm possibly the worst person ever to talk to on the phone. I crack jokes about physics, tell stories about my cats and narrate whatever I'm doing for the benefit of the people on the other end. All while being horrifically perky. *blushes* I mortified one really really terrible guy who would not listen to me by reading bits of hardcore slash aloud whenever I felt his attention was wandering. There is a story behind the entire incident, I promise. To this day I will maintain the he deserved it and I ended up switching companies over it. But hey!

I'm so thrilled for you!
Bronwyn

[piplover.livejournal.com]

LOL! Oh, goodness, I want to hear the slash story, it sounds hilarious! I don't mind perky people, in fact, I prefer them. It makes me perky, lol. The physics jokes would probably have me going, "Ummm, yeah, haha, what can I help you with again?" I think once my brain actually kicks in and I don't freeze like a deer in headlights every time I get a call, I'll be good.

[bronwynferchdai.livejournal.com]

Well, I was talking to this guy from Verizon a few years ago because for some reason my Fios kept refusing to talk to my computer. I'd call, we'd fix it and then two days later, we'd repeat the process.

Somewhere around the 84th time I called (okay, so maybe the fourth?) I got this guy who took my account number, listened through the entire recitation of events and then said "Yeah, can I get your account number again?" So I gave it to him and then he says "So, what seems to be the problem today, ma'am?" *blink* So I start the litany over again and he's making these little "uh-huh" noises and then - then! - he says "Did you try restarting it?" Which I'd already told him I'd done. Twice. And then things devolved because I'd been trying for two weeks to get this problem fixed and this guy was not listening to a damned word I was saying and was - in fact - speaking to me like I was stupid. So within a couple of minutes we're at this stage.

Me - "I've restarted the computer."
Him - "And it didn't help."
Me - "Nope. Still can't connect."
Him - "Is your network cable connected?"
Me - "Yes."
Him - "Are you certain?"
Me - "Yes."
Him - "You might need to restart it after you hook up the cable."
Me - "I did."
Him - "No, I mean after you hook up the cable."
Me - "I DID."
Him - "Hmmm. Are you sure it's connected to the right port?"
Me - "Is this conversation being recorded?"
Him - "Yes ma'am, for training purposes. Is that a problem?"
Me - "Oh, no. I just want to make sure someone's going to get this on tape."
Him - "Ma'am?"
Me - "You're not listening to me."
Him - "Well, ma'am, I'm trying, but you seem to be having difficulty getting your cable hooked up."
Me - "My cable is hooked up."
Him - "Then could you restart your computer, please?"
Me - *opening saved story* "Lex is... having fun. Smiles to himself and gets kissed for his trouble, Oz maneuvering over the gear shift and between Lex and the steering wheel very much like someone used to motor vehicle sex. Small, warm boy on his lap, surprisingly strong and callused hands on his scalp."
Him - "Ma'am?"
Me - "Oh, nothing. I've restarted."
Him - "Thank you. Is your computer working now?"
Me - "Nope. Still can't connect. Lex wants to get just as illegal as he possibly can and Oz is tonguefucking him so gently. Slow thrusts and slower circling licks. Tasting him as much as driving him insane and it's good to be tied for this. Good to be able to struggle against the too much and not enough."
Him - "Ma'am?"

And so on like that for about 20 minutes before I hung up on the bastard. And then switched to ATT that afternoon. It was sad. But also, hilariously funny.

Love, hugs and lava lamps,
Bronwyn

[piplover.livejournal.com]

OMG! Lmao! That's hilarious, and also, he had terrible customer service! I would have loved it if some of our audio clips were like this. Wow, good for you for using slash to make a customer service rep see the light!

[bronwynferchdai.livejournal.com]

I just pray that someone, somewhere saved that in Verizon's files as "What Not to Do" or possibly "When Customers Attack".
*laughs*
Bronwyn

[bronwynferchdai.livejournal.com]

Also, I apparently didn't close my italics bracket. Oh well.
Bronwyn