All Things Sad Become Untrue

I did something I thought I would never do. I gave my mom a copy of Soldier's Heart.  My Sherlock Holmes story that has explicit slash sex in it.  OMG, what have I done?  

*Face palm*

Also, I gave my sister a link to the story on AO3.  I think I'm either crazy, or incredibly foolish.

But...

My family hasn't read anything I've written except for a few essays for university and some stories I wrote when I  was, like, 12.  And I'm really proud of that story.  I'm really proud that it's almost 200 pages, and that I spent nearly 9 months on it, and that I poured my soul into it and made it as good as I possibly could.  And I think I just wanted my family to know, if only in this one instance, what I can do when I try.

I don't think my mom will be horrified. I warned her as I handed her the copy what it contained, and she just smiled and told me she didn't care. I also warned my sister when she said she wanted to read it.  So I don't know what they'll think of it.

But I hope they like it.  And they won't laugh, or tell me it isn't very good.  I want them to like it, and be proud of me.  

This is, honestly, the first fannish thing they have read of mine.  I don't know if I want to stand defiant and say, "Yes, this is me, all of me, and I'm not ashamed!"  Or to bury my face in my hands and just hope they never mention it again.

Has anyone else showed their family their writing, especially if it has NC-17 in it?  Honestly, this is the ONLY thing I've written with NC-17 content, so of course I have to give it to them.

Oh, God!

Hello, all!

This past weekend kind of sucked, but I think it's getting better.  I've had a migraine, stomach ache and back ache the past few days, thanks to the weather going from one extreme to the other.  Every time the air pressure changes I feel it!  

On Friday my mom's pug finally died.  The poor thing was on its last legs, and she was going to have him put down on Saturday, but he decided to go on his own terms and time, and passed peacefully.  Saturday, there was a funeral for a friend's son who overdosed. I didn't know him, but my mom had been his teacher and was just broken.  She really had a wretched weekend!

Hopefully the rest of 2011 will be better.

I went on another date with my friend M, though I'm not sure I should call it a date. He hasn't given any indication that he wants to take things that way, and since I'm fine either way, it doesn't bother me.  I just don't know what to call our time together, lol.  We had dinner at Red Robin and then went back to his place, where he showed me his World of Warcraft and Anime collection.  I've said it before, and I'll say it again:  embrace the geek!  

If nothing else, I feel comfortable being my own geeky self around him, so it's all good.

I wanted to get some writing down, but have just felt horrible.  Work is only made possible by the copious amounts of Vicoden I have taken, because sitting for too long is just agony.  But hopefully things will settle and I can get my mojo back.  I have two stories I'm writing for the Australia flood auction, one Sherlock BBC and one SGA. Also, I'm working with enkiduts on a story, and I have to get my section done.  I have a start on it, but haven't been really able to work on it in a while.  Hopefully that will change, as well.

What else is going on?

I saw the King's Speech.   I loved it!  The acting was brilliant, the story lovely in it's simplicity, and the fact that it was based on real events just made my little historian heart sing.  Definitely one to buy when it comes out.

Also saw Tangled, way back at the beginning of the year, and loved it, as well.  Haven't really seen anything else, though I'm hoping to drag M to see Green Hornet this weekend.  Nothing else looks really good out there right now.  

Oh, one other thing.  I'm working on getting my plane ticket to England, but OMG, the taxes are ridiculous!  The plane ticket itself is only about $400, but the taxes they apply are over $400!  Seriously, it's crazy!  I don't want to pay $800, with over half of that taxes!  So I'm hoping my sister can work her magic and find me a good deal, otherwise I'll just have to bite the bullet and purchase it now. 

Anyway, that's about my life in a nutshell. 

Hello, everyone!  Sorry I've been so quiet lately, but Christmas has been taking its toll on me, and I don't want to fill up my list with my whining.  I've been trying to keep my spirits up and not be depressed by the crazy customers or the fact I  have to work a regular shift on Christmas day.  Yeah, still feeling the sting of that one.

But my family is going to be celebrating on Christmas Eve, so I'm trying to stay upbeat and just enjoy the season as much as I can. 

So, enough of that.

The cats are doing well, and I'm doing all right.  My stomach is still being touchy, and I'm trying to take it one day at a time and not worry that I'll never be 100% again.  I have good days that are becoming more, so I'm going to be happy about that and deal with the pain when I have to.

My apartment is all decorated, I have pumpkin eggnog in the fridge, and since I'm working from home I can have all the Christmas music or movies on in the background that I can stand.  Plus, my two little monsters are keeping me company!

Also, I talked to my manager and asked about the possibility of being able to work from home a few days a week and coming in to the building the others.  I think that would be a great way to keep my stress down and save on gas, but also get me out of the apartment and around people.  I don't know if I will be able to, but the question has been asked and they're looking into it for me.  

Also also!  I talked to my sister yesterday and it turns out March will not be a good time for me to visit, as she will be trying to survive finals and essays out the wazoo.  So I'm going to head over in April.  Now I have to find out if I want to arrange to be there for the royal wedding, or skip that madness and go a bit earlier to miss it, but still get some of the excitement.   Any thoughts from my England friends?

I'm really looking forward to seeing her and London again.  And also meeting some of you who have been so amazing to me, but who I have never met face to face.  My sister said pretty much anytime after the first week in April, so anyone have any ideas? 

I'm also looking forward to meeting her boyfriend.  He's a royal marine and will have just come back from Afghanistan.  He sounds like a very nice man who is treating my sister well, but I think it would be great to just meet him!  I didn't even meet my sister's ex-husband until right before her wedding, lol!  Not that they are anywhere near there.  They have only been dating for a few months. But still....

I'm looking forward to visiting some of the pubs near where she lives and trying not to make a fool of myself.  My sister is a drinker, and so are a lot of her friends.  I am not.   We're very much two totally different people, and we don't go in the same circles at all.  But still...  I think it will be fun!

Also, going in April will give me more time to lose the weight!  I still have my heart set on losing 30 pounds before I head over.  I know I can do this!  I just have to really work at it.  My main problem is getting out and exercising.  Recently I've been so tired that's it's a struggle just getting out of bed in the morning.  Part of it is the cold weather, and another is fighting depression.  But I think once Christmas has passed, I'll feel a lot better and able to take on the world!

Plus, I'll have more vacation time saved up, and more money, lol!

So, this is where I stand right now.  I've sent out the most of my Christmas cards, just have to get a few more stamps and then the rest will be shipped out.  I have all but one of my presents bought, and I'm just hoping to survive in relatively good spirits.

Anyway, not much else to report!  I'll be starting to post my massive Holmes epic probably next week (SQUEE!!) and I'm getting excited about that.  I hope everyone has a lovely weekend and you are all doing well.  Take care!

But I switched my usual workday with Thursday, so I had Sunday off and work tomorrow. And the sucky thing is, the reason I changed it was because my sister was supposed to come down last week, and I wanted to spend 4 days with her, rather than just 3. But she had to change plans and is coming down today. [Poll #1607227]

Really don't wish to be at work today.  My mouth doesn't want to talk, my stomach is hurting, and I just... hate Mondays, lol, even when they're on Sunday.

Saw A-team with brother and his fiance last night.  It was just as good the second time, lol.  Still cheesy and silly and full of the crack that made it such a fun series.  Could have done without the forced romance, though.  That had me rolling my eyes and just wishing for those parts to be done with already.  I'm an incurable romantic, but it seems that most movies are just sex, sex, sex, and the women usually have me wanting to bash my head in.  I'm sorry, but you don't need to be a bitch to be strong and powerful.  If you switched genders, half the time what is supposed to come off as perky and smart is just downright vicious and sexist.  It drives me nuts. 

OK, mini rant over, sorry. 

Mom is doing some landscaping, and it has become a family affair to move rocks around and help plant flowers.  Now the weather is mostly cooperating we're trying to get it all done before it begins to get hot.

I'm working on a Sherlock Holmes story now.  It feels so good to be writing again, even if I still doubt the quality of it.  I'm trying to write at least 3 or 4 pages a day, and keep reminding myself that I can go back and edit and add and change things.  So far, I'm pretty happy with the results, and hope I can do the idea justice.  

Not really much else going on.  I got my movie and book, and loved Without a Clue.  It was cracky and silly and fun, and just a good laugh. 

What are you all planning for the rest of your weekend?

Happy Mother's Day to all the mommy's on my list.  I hope your day is filled with sunshine, love, and all the happiness you could ever want.

My sister came down on Friday to surprise my mom, and everyone else, lol, and it was a wonderful weekend.  We celebrated Mother's Day yesterday, as she has to go back to Seattle today, and I have to work.  Boo!  But we had fun.

My brother and his fiance cooked steak and crab legs, and we had backed potatoes and salads.  My poor sister recently found out she is allergic to milk, so we were all frantically checking labels to make sure she could eat stuff.  She had to leave off the ice cream cake, but brother found some non-dairy ice cream and apple strudels for her, and she was happy.

Also, the sis and I went vintage close shopping yesterday.  She's a stick with legs, and so was able to fit into the most beautiful gowns from the 1930s, 40s and 50s.  I was soooooo jealous!!!!!!!  Honestly, ever dress I liked I couldn't even imagine fitting into.  The owner of the shop was like, "I never have anyone small enough to fit into these dresses, so it's nice to see how they look on people and not a manquein."  We were both extremely jealous, lol.  

My sister took it all gracefully and bought a very pretty summer dress from the late 30s that was in remarkably great condition.  All she has to do is add a few snaps and she's set. 

Once more, SO JEALOUS!

After that shopping excursion we just kind of lazed about and then watched The Blind Side.  It was excellent! 

All in all, it was a lovely day, and I think my mom was happy with it.  She's the kind of person you have to tie down if you want her to relax, so we considered it a win that the only thing she did was clean the kitchen after dinner, and we all chipped in to help.  

Hopefully today will be a slow day at work, with no upsetting customers.  I've been feeling on the brink of crappy again, but not enough to stop me from doing things, so I'm counting myself lucky and taking today slow.  Money has been rather tight lately, what with all the bills suddenly coming due and not enough money to pay them, but I'm not going to stress myself out about it.  Things will be taken care of, I'll just be tight for a while.  Sigh.  Which means it will be a bit longer before my computer is fixed.  It's still giving me trouble, though thankfully it has stopped turning itself off.  I'm afraid to save anything to it, and am backing even the littlest thing up.  I'm hoping in the next month or so I can take it in and have it thoroughly examined and cleansed, and then hopefully it will work correctly again.  Until then, please forgive me if I'm absent.  I'm able to sneak on at work, but I don't want to press my luck too much with that.  And it's terribly frustrating to try and post anything at home.

Sorry this was so long.  Hope you all have a beautiful Sunday, wherever you are!

I had my graduation ceremony today!  It was wonderful, even if it was a bit slow.  My family  was there and some friends, and we went out to dinner after.  I left work early to go to the ceremony, but my boss was really cool, so I'm just thrilled!  It was a great day!  And I got some wonderful gifts!  My mom got me a beautiful necklace, a dragonfly "to give me wings to help me fly."  I started to cry when she gave it to me, it's so amazing.  I also some checks and some money, which is always great!  I can't believe I really did it!  Woohoo!!  Ok, I'm off to bed now.  Talk to you all tomorrow!

My brother and his fiance are going away for the weekend, so I get to petsit the horses, dogs and cat for them.  She's a vet tech, and he used to be, so they pretty much have everything down to a science where the animals are concerned, which means all I have to do is lay out the food, give the dog its pill, and then watch a few movies on their 65 inch HD TV. 

People - the TV is bigger than me!  

Not to mention they have a blue ray DVD player.  I am so insanely jealous of them sometimes, lol.  When she asked me how much I wanted for taking care of the critters, I told her not to worry about it.  Her response?  "Then I guess you'll just get a nice surprise, won't you?"  I feel kind of bad, because if I don't take the money, they'll get angry with me.  But I also know them, and they'll pay me way to much. Hell, I think just being able to watch whatever I want on their TV is reward enough.  

Anyway, that's what I plan on doing tomorrow.  I told them I'm in a sling so I won't be able to sling the hay or anything, and she assured me that they would have it all ready for me.  I love their horses, even if they do scare me.  Big animals tend to intimidate me, no matter how gentle they are.  

Nothing much else to say.  My life is really spectacularly boring.  I hope you all have a wonderful weekend.  

I think I am quite ready for some seclusion from the world.  Spending the last few weeks in the bosom of my family has made me crave being a hermit.  

My dad flew up from Florida last week, and my sister flew down from Seattle.  It was the first time my family has all been together since 2001.  It would have been great if my brother hadn't ended up in the hospital.  Food poisoning, apparently.   He should be released tomorrow, just in time to say good bye to my dad, as my sister flew back today.  I've been designated errand girl, which hasn't left much time for job searching.  I have to really go back to that in earnest after my dad leaves and my brother is all right.  

elayna88 Thank you so much for the card.  It brightened my day immeasurably, it truly did.  Thank you. 

I hope everyone else is doing well.  Have I missed anything important the past week?  

Hi, all!

I just wanted to do a quick post and let you all know what's happening.  My dad is out of ICU but is not doing well.  My sister is with him now, but I will be flying down to take her place in a few weeks so she can get her flat and classes sorted out before flying back to England. 

Apparently my aunts, my father's sisters, are being total bitches about the whole thing, won't even let us stay with them.  And in order not to upset my dad even more we can't say anything, so even though I want to just yell and scream and totally give them what for, I'm going to have to bite my tongue and be a dutiful and good daughter and just have a few pillows close at hand to punch. 

My brother, who has had a bad relationship with my dad for several years, has not even spoken to him or that side of the family.  Things are just falling down around me and, honestly, I feel like I'm about to shake apart I'm so tired and stressed.

The only good thing is that my classes are wonderful and I love my professors, although there is a lot of homework to do.  All of them have been very understanding about me having to take a few days off and are working with me on getting my assignments in.  Also, the 7 Straight Nights candlelight vigil is still planned, and I have a few more people who will be attending.  No speakers, but at this point I really just want it to be done with it  and hope it doesn't turn out too bad. 

So, yeah, that's my life right now.  Oh, one other thing in the good category is that I paid off my car and now own it.  Yay, me!  If anyone asks, I'll be in that corner over here, trying to burry my head in the sand.  Take care, everyone, especially those of you in the path of Ike. 

*HUGS*