Close your eyes and hope for the best

[piplover]

I did something I thought I would never do. I gave my mom a copy of Soldier's Heart.  My Sherlock Holmes story that has explicit slash sex in it.  OMG, what have I done?  

*Face palm*

Also, I gave my sister a link to the story on AO3.  I think I'm either crazy, or incredibly foolish.

But...

My family hasn't read anything I've written except for a few essays for university and some stories I wrote when I  was, like, 12.  And I'm really proud of that story.  I'm really proud that it's almost 200 pages, and that I spent nearly 9 months on it, and that I poured my soul into it and made it as good as I possibly could.  And I think I just wanted my family to know, if only in this one instance, what I can do when I try.

I don't think my mom will be horrified. I warned her as I handed her the copy what it contained, and she just smiled and told me she didn't care. I also warned my sister when she said she wanted to read it.  So I don't know what they'll think of it.

But I hope they like it.  And they won't laugh, or tell me it isn't very good.  I want them to like it, and be proud of me.  

This is, honestly, the first fannish thing they have read of mine.  I don't know if I want to stand defiant and say, "Yes, this is me, all of me, and I'm not ashamed!"  Or to bury my face in my hands and just hope they never mention it again.

Has anyone else showed their family their writing, especially if it has NC-17 in it?  Honestly, this is the ONLY thing I've written with NC-17 content, so of course I have to give it to them.

Oh, God!

Comments

[queerlyobscure.livejournal.com]

When I decided that basically my skill in life is writing gay porn, I figured I'd have to show my mum sooner or later, because she was eventually going to wonder where the money was coming from. So I figured sooner was the best bet, and showed her... hmm. I forget what it was, but I remember it being porny but with a reasonable build-up to said porn (kinda like Soldier's Heart, actually).

She took it shockingly well. Despite my mother being a complete prude and kind of uncomfortable/confused about the notion of gay people (though she is quickly 'getting' it, I'm pleased to say!), she took it as something I had written and accepted it. Now she actually asks to read my work.

I'm not saying that your mum will necessarily take it the same way (I don't know the woman), but I think there's a much better-than-even chance that she'll be okay with it. And in the end, it is you, right? It's who you are, and as long as you're being true to yourself, you've got nothing to be ashamed of.

... I even had my dad reading gay romance the other day. My dad who once told me off for talking loudly enough about my girlfriend for the neighbours to hear. It took time, but it's really helped him come around to the idea of not everything being black and white and in neat little boxes like he thought it was.

Ahem. TL;DR: yes, and it turned out just fine, don't worry about things that haven't happened :)

[piplover.livejournal.com]

I have high hopes. I did warn my mom, very clearly, what the story contained, and she just laughed and said she didn't care. My sister is pretty open minded, I think, and I know she at least knows a bit about fandom. When I told her I wrote the story and it had Holmes/ Watson getting together, she said, "Oh, you write slash!" Immediately followed by, "You know they weren't really together, right?" To which I had to reply, "So you think."

So, hopefully things will be OK. Still. It's a bit like having your family find your porn collection, only a bit more intimate, lol.

[erynn999.livejournal.com]

It's possible that some of my relatives may have seen something, but not anything I've explicitly pointed them to. I do have a lot of stuff out there. Soldier's Heart was an awesome, plotty story, so it's one of those where she could even skip some of the smut and still really enjoy what you wrote.

On the other hand, most of them have read at least a little of my Pagan stuff and most of them are pretty Christian, so it's kind of in a similar category, anyway, as far as "potential for explosions" goes. They took it pretty well. My mom loves my stuff, even though she says she doesn't really understand half of what I'm talking about. At least, with smut, your average adult has a little experience with teh sexx0rz. ;)

Good luck!

[piplover.livejournal.com]

Thanks!

I have high hopes that they'll take it well, but also hope they don't mention it to my brother or his fiance. Much as I hate to say it, they're not as open minded as my mom apparently is. I have my fingers crossed!

[lavvyan.livejournal.com]

This is a big step, and it needs a lot of courage to take it. Even if your family isn't proud of you (which I can't imagine), you should be proud of yourself. *hugs*

[piplover.livejournal.com]

*Hugs*

Thanks! It is a big step, rather like baring my soul for my family to see. I put a lot of myself into that story, so it will be interesting to see if they say anything.

[amaraal.livejournal.com]

Well done! I think I could never do this :) But 'Soldier's Heart' IS a very good story. You can be proud of you for both: The story and your courage to come out of the closet, so to say :) *pats shoulder*
I memorize one event... I had been around 15, 16... My mother found something 'like that' on my desk and snapped it before I could intervene. She asked me: 'Have you written this?' A bit porny, but not very much so, and I said: 'No, it's a copy...' *shames*
I'll think, they would have found it out either. Let us know how it went :)

[piplover.livejournal.com]

Thanks!

I have my fingers crossed, and hope my family is open minded enough to accept it. It is rather like coming out of the closet, lol.

[amaraal.livejournal.com]

You're welcome :) I could never do that. My father is such a homophobic... My mother wouldn't mind, I think. She asks me, if I'm not writing a book recently...? Ehem... well... Not exactly :) LOL
In a way we are a third race: Women not interested in het-sex, and doing unspeakable things to established characters!!! In a way it's the author's own fault: Why hasn't he given Holmes a... wife... girl-friend... anything :) A cat would have been cool :)

Have a nice day! And don't worry too much about the bills and anything. Nothing lasts forever :)

[forcryinoutloud.livejournal.com]

*hugs* Oh hon. *G* Honestly, I'm in awe of you right now. Some of my family know that I used to write, and they know that it was called fanfiction about some of the shows I liked, but they've never read anything I've written and I cannot imagine ever letting them. I'm sure though that, since you warned them beforehand what the story contained, that they will be fine with it. And I agree with Lavvyan, even if in the end they aren't proud of you (though again, like Lavvyan I can't imagine that) you should be totally proud of yourself for such an awesome accomplishment! *smishes*

[piplover.livejournal.com]

I'm a bit in awe of myself, lol. I never thought I would do that, but after I got back from England, I realized that if something happened to me, they would never know this huge part of my life. And I wanted my mom, at least, to see something I'm so proud of.

Hopefully, they'll be open minded enough and just enjoy it, but it feels almost like baring my porn collection, lol! Eep!

[ansostuff.livejournal.com]

I think you are brave for showing them and I really hope they take it well and think you've done great. :) My experience is that people outside the realm of fandoms don't understand the point and meaning of fanfiction. It doesn't matter which fandom it is, they don't gresp the consept I believe.

[piplover.livejournal.com]

I agree. I think my mom will enjoy it, like she enjoyed my pictures when I was a kid, because I wrote it, but I don't know if she'll actually get it.

My sister, I think, knows something about fandom, as when I told her I wrote Holmes/Watson, she was like, "Oh, you write slash!" And then said, "You know they aren't like that, right?" Oh, well. At least she got half of it, lol!

[enkiduts.livejournal.com]

My mother used to read my fanfiction all the time and loved it. She ended up with macular degeneration and was, at the end no longer able--haviing no central vision-- to read at all. And She died before I got into writing slash. But she was a huge supporter of gay rights and wouldn't have batted an eyelash I am sure.

[piplover.livejournal.com]

I'm sure your mom would have loved your stuff, it's absolutely beautiful writing. I'm glad I gave the zine to my mom, because even if she doesn't get it completely, I want her to know that I could do something that I'm so proud of. And a major part of that goes to you, as without you, there really wouldn't have been a Soldier's Heart.


*Hugs*

[enkiduts.livejournal.com]

Thanks so much Pip! I hope she would have--although I think had she lived to see SH09 she'd recognize a bit too much of her own relationship with my father in all that sniping!! :)

That story was all you--I was just a sounding board, I didn't do anything but bounce ideas with you. But thank you so much!

And you should be very proud--it is a wonderful story!

[ancalime8301]

Go you! :) (I was just rereading the beginning parts of Soldier's Heart the other day, haha. Though I'm not sure I ever commented... ack.)

My siblings know I write fanfic and are my LJ friends, so it's all there if they want to read it, though I don't think they have. At this point, my mom knows I write fanfic, and I believe she knows I write mpreg (thanks, bro :p), but I haven't straight-out told her about the slash. I'm not sure how she'd take it, being very conservative and all.

[piplover.livejournal.com]

Hee, thanks! I think you did comment, but if not, no worries!

I'm very proud of Soldier's Heart, but it's a bit like baring my soul for all to see, so I'm still nervous. I think my mom will enjoy it, but mainly because I wrote it, and my sister I have no clue.

Fingers crossed!

Soldiers heart

[gellmar64.livejournal.com]

It´s a beautiful story, and the best holiday gift any family memeber could wish for. I read at one go, and reread it immediatly when it was finished. Of course they will love it!

[aurin87.livejournal.com]

You have a great talent, the ability to attract readers in what you write. I hope with all my heart that your mom and your sister know how to appreciate this wonderful part of you. In any case, do not forget all the people who have loved your work and recognizes your skills. Congratulations for the courage, I have just learned that we should not be embarrassed by our passions.
*Hugs*