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Still Alive
Hey, everyone. Sorry it's been a while since I've posted. I was super busy 4th of July weekend and then work kind of got crazy. Today I spent with Boy-who-I-am-dating and basically zooming around the city shopping.
Got my new glasses in today, yay! I look way cool, for a geek, and I can see again!
Not much happening. Work is going good, so I'm still hoping to be converted to a regular instead of a seasonal. Although it's not what I want to do with the rest of my life, it is a good paying job and the people are really great. So, here's hoping I can keep kicking butt and they decide they want to keep me.
Have been fighting depression the past few days. Even though everything is going well and there really isn't a reason, I've been sinking slowly again. Gar. I have a doctor's appointment next week and hopefully we'll figure something out. Had a bunch of lab work done and it turns out I have a Vitamin D deficiency, which probably explains a lot. I plan on spending as much time as I can stand outside in the sunshine tomorrow. It's been in the 100s F, though, so I may just have to settle for taking a supplement.
The big thing for me, I guess, is that I'm actually dating again. And I'm not sure how I'm handling it. I think this may also be part of the depression. I've been alone for so long that I'm having trouble just letting go and having fun when we go out. It's almost like - like I have to learn how to trust again. Does that make sense?
I do enjoy spending time with Boy and doing things with him, but I think he wants to go faster than I do. Not sex, but relationship wise. He asked me to spend the night at his place next week, but we've only really been dating for two weeks or so. That's - really pretty quick. I told him I'd have to think about it, because I don't want to rush anything and at this point, I'm having enough trouble processing the thought that I actually have someone to do stuff with and to flirt with.
My dating skills are rusty, sigh.
Ok, tired now and heading to bed. Sorry if this was a little off. I took some meds that seemed to creep up on me as I was typing and now my brain is foggy. You all take care, talk to you later.
*Hugs*
Got my new glasses in today, yay! I look way cool, for a geek, and I can see again!
Not much happening. Work is going good, so I'm still hoping to be converted to a regular instead of a seasonal. Although it's not what I want to do with the rest of my life, it is a good paying job and the people are really great. So, here's hoping I can keep kicking butt and they decide they want to keep me.
Have been fighting depression the past few days. Even though everything is going well and there really isn't a reason, I've been sinking slowly again. Gar. I have a doctor's appointment next week and hopefully we'll figure something out. Had a bunch of lab work done and it turns out I have a Vitamin D deficiency, which probably explains a lot. I plan on spending as much time as I can stand outside in the sunshine tomorrow. It's been in the 100s F, though, so I may just have to settle for taking a supplement.
The big thing for me, I guess, is that I'm actually dating again. And I'm not sure how I'm handling it. I think this may also be part of the depression. I've been alone for so long that I'm having trouble just letting go and having fun when we go out. It's almost like - like I have to learn how to trust again. Does that make sense?
I do enjoy spending time with Boy and doing things with him, but I think he wants to go faster than I do. Not sex, but relationship wise. He asked me to spend the night at his place next week, but we've only really been dating for two weeks or so. That's - really pretty quick. I told him I'd have to think about it, because I don't want to rush anything and at this point, I'm having enough trouble processing the thought that I actually have someone to do stuff with and to flirt with.
My dating skills are rusty, sigh.
Ok, tired now and heading to bed. Sorry if this was a little off. I took some meds that seemed to creep up on me as I was typing and now my brain is foggy. You all take care, talk to you later.
*Hugs*
no subject
And as to Thing 1, just relax. Tell him exactly what you're feeling and why and if he's anything approaching a carbon-based lifeform, he'll be cool. Alternatively, if he's not I can have him set on fire. *GRINS* Or maybe just do something awful to him in a story.
But since I think he is, in fact, a bipedal, mostly symmetrical biological entity native to the Sol system, it's going to be fine!
*HUGGLES*
Bronwyn
no subject
Thanks, hon. I feel really shy about telling him I'm hesitant to spend the night, not sure why. He asked me again to spend the night on Monday and I'm fighting the urge to curl up in a little ball and go, "But - but-!"
I guess I just have to suck it up and tell him, "Whoa, too fast!"
no subject
*HUGGLES*
Bronwyn
no subject
that, which is due to food allergy diet, gets better when I take supplements of that one.
I hope you feel better so, dearie. And yes, you do make lots of sense. Trust takes time, especially when you're out of the habit.
no subject
Thanks, hon, I will. I thought I was doing pretty good with eating healthy and stuff, but apparently I can use some more work. I think I haven't been out enough in the sun. It's so hot that I'm like, "Walk? Are you crazy?"
I still a bit to go on the depression, but I'm trying to fake it until I make it.
As to Boy, I think I just need to tell him to slow down and that I'm really out of practice and need to take baby steps. Hopefully he'll continue to be the sweetheart he is and will understand.
no subject
My thought is that *is* too quick for a lady (though apparently not quick enough for most gents) - I agree, relax, be honest and don't do anything that *you* feel pushed/manipulated/guilted into... seen too many people lose a lot of potential happiness just because once the physical stuff starts the talking (and maturing of the relationship) so often stops.
So - aside from that 'motherly' concern, I'm just really hoping you will be *happy*. :-)
no subject
Thanks, hon! I think I'm going to have to tell him that I need to slow down, that I've been out of the game so long that I've forgotten what it's like to be with someone, and don't want to screw it up.
I'm pretty sure he'll understand, but if he doesn't, well, we'll cross that bridge if we come to it. But I won't let myself be talked into something that will set me off or make me feel off. I've been down that road too many times,and I think I'm finally learning to recognize it.