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It's gorgeous outside. It was 90F yesterday, and is supposed to be the same today. I think summer has come.
Sunday was another beautiful day. At church we all got roses to remind us to be thankful for the life we live, no matter what troubles we face. I have mine at home in with my other flowers, and my flat smells lovely!
After church, I gave my mom her gifts, which was a bouquet and a donation card I made in her name to Kiva. I placed the money on the card and she was able to decide who she wanted to donate it to. I think she really liked that, and I know I felt pretty good, lol. So that may be an idea for more gifts in the future.
After that we had a BBQ at my brother's with my mom and his fiance's mom and her grandma. It was a bit hard, as her grandma has dementia, but she's a sweetie and we all had fun.
And then I volunteered to help take care of her grandma on my days off. What the hell was I thinking? It was like my mouth opened and I heard myself volunteering my time.
But I think it will be OK. She's a sweet one, and I don't have a problem with helping bathe her or help with the toilet. And it would only be for a few hours, because I don't have the energy for much more. Plus it will help Laura's mom, who has been pretty much single-handedly taking care of her. I don't want or expect to get paid for it. I just want to do something that I'll feel good about and be able to help me see past my own problems.
Other than that, not much has been going on. Still putting out my resumes, but haven't heard anything back from anyone. Sad as it makes me, and much as I wish it were otherwise, I'm not gonna be able to quit just yet. Dammit. But hopefully soon. I'll just have to keep squirreling money away so that when I do have enough and can't take any more, I can quit and not have to worry about bills and food and keeping my cats from eating me because they're hungry.
Plus, I think the new medication is helping, as I haven't had a panic attack or felt like my body was hit by a truck for the past week. It does make me tired, but I can deal with that.
Anyway, I hope you are all doing well. In the immortal words of Bill & Ted, "Be excellent to each other!"
Sunday was another beautiful day. At church we all got roses to remind us to be thankful for the life we live, no matter what troubles we face. I have mine at home in with my other flowers, and my flat smells lovely!
After church, I gave my mom her gifts, which was a bouquet and a donation card I made in her name to Kiva. I placed the money on the card and she was able to decide who she wanted to donate it to. I think she really liked that, and I know I felt pretty good, lol. So that may be an idea for more gifts in the future.
After that we had a BBQ at my brother's with my mom and his fiance's mom and her grandma. It was a bit hard, as her grandma has dementia, but she's a sweetie and we all had fun.
And then I volunteered to help take care of her grandma on my days off. What the hell was I thinking? It was like my mouth opened and I heard myself volunteering my time.
But I think it will be OK. She's a sweet one, and I don't have a problem with helping bathe her or help with the toilet. And it would only be for a few hours, because I don't have the energy for much more. Plus it will help Laura's mom, who has been pretty much single-handedly taking care of her. I don't want or expect to get paid for it. I just want to do something that I'll feel good about and be able to help me see past my own problems.
Other than that, not much has been going on. Still putting out my resumes, but haven't heard anything back from anyone. Sad as it makes me, and much as I wish it were otherwise, I'm not gonna be able to quit just yet. Dammit. But hopefully soon. I'll just have to keep squirreling money away so that when I do have enough and can't take any more, I can quit and not have to worry about bills and food and keeping my cats from eating me because they're hungry.
Plus, I think the new medication is helping, as I haven't had a panic attack or felt like my body was hit by a truck for the past week. It does make me tired, but I can deal with that.
Anyway, I hope you are all doing well. In the immortal words of Bill & Ted, "Be excellent to each other!"