Boy 1 is asking for it, he really is. But as someone who spends ninety percent of her time with boys between the ages of 14 and 25, eight percent of her time with men between 25 and 65 and the rest of her time with women, I offer my own conclusions.
Men (and by extension boys) live by what I call the 90/10 rule. Ninety percent of the time, any given man is a bright, wonderful, considerate creature. The other ten percent is made up of pure, unadulterated stupid.
If Boy 1 likes you as a friend, then he had already formed a deep and abiding emotional attachment to you. Now, whether anyone likes it or not, Boy 1 formed this attachment whilst also thinking of you as a sexual creature. How do I know this? Because he's having sex with you. In fact, Boy 1 is balls-deep in a relationship with you. He talks to you and spends time with you and relies on you for at least some emotional support and attention. He also enjoys sex with you. Now, if I am correct in my analysis (based on admittedly limited information) Boy 1 is scared absolutely spitless at the idea of a relationship. But this is perfect then, isn't it? Friends with benefits. And life continues, tra-la.
What then inevitably happens is that someone (likely one of Boy 1's friends) informs him that he's a big r-tard and he's got a girlfriend. Alternatively (and this may be more likely in your case) one of Boy 1's friends comes up to him and says "Hey, Pip is hot. You wouldn't mind if I asked her out, right?" At which point, Boy 1 - who has backed himself into a stupid-shaped corner - says "No. We're just friends." Meanwhile, his little internal voice is shrieking "NO NO NO MINE MINE MINE!" like a big whiny girly girl.
Then Boy 1 spirals into a weird little emotional quagmire as he attempts to examine his feelings without having to actually admit that he has them. If he's anything like the men I know, he's stuck on the question "Do I really like Pip? Or do I like Pip because someone else wants her?"
That question, I cannot answer as I do not know Boy 1 from the drag queen down the street.
Boy 2 is just Boy 2. Do with him what you will.
Where you may be overreacting is if Boy 1 really is a mature and honest example of the human species, then he may be attempting to let Boy 2 do his thing without coming out and telling you "Hey, I'm backing off so a friend of mine can take a swing." I don't think this is terribly likely, but it's been known to happen.
This shit part of the whole deal is the friendship with Boy 1 may be dead like a dead thing if this doesn't get resolved. My advice (like you want it after this little diatribe) is be blunt, to the point and just ask Boy 1. You know "Hey, Boy 1, are you pissed at me for choosing to spend time with Boy 2 and perhaps foster a romantic liason because you would prefer to connect romantically with me yourself? Or are you not interested in a romantic connection with me and are instead pissed off because you fear losing your only source of regular sex - allow me to repeat that only source of regular sex? Or are you just a territorial asshat?"
You know. Something like that.
I wish you all the luck in the world, darling. Bronwyn
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
branchandroot
no subject
Date: 2009-06-24 10:21 pm (UTC)Men (and by extension boys) live by what I call the 90/10 rule. Ninety percent of the time, any given man is a bright, wonderful, considerate creature. The other ten percent is made up of pure, unadulterated stupid.
If Boy 1 likes you as a friend, then he had already formed a deep and abiding emotional attachment to you. Now, whether anyone likes it or not, Boy 1 formed this attachment whilst also thinking of you as a sexual creature. How do I know this? Because he's having sex with you. In fact, Boy 1 is balls-deep in a relationship with you. He talks to you and spends time with you and relies on you for at least some emotional support and attention. He also enjoys sex with you. Now, if I am correct in my analysis (based on admittedly limited information) Boy 1 is scared absolutely spitless at the idea of a relationship. But this is perfect then, isn't it? Friends with benefits. And life continues, tra-la.
What then inevitably happens is that someone (likely one of Boy 1's friends) informs him that he's a big r-tard and he's got a girlfriend. Alternatively (and this may be more likely in your case) one of Boy 1's friends comes up to him and says "Hey, Pip is hot. You wouldn't mind if I asked her out, right?" At which point, Boy 1 - who has backed himself into a stupid-shaped corner - says "No. We're just friends." Meanwhile, his little internal voice is shrieking "NO NO NO MINE MINE MINE!" like a big whiny girly girl.
Then Boy 1 spirals into a weird little emotional quagmire as he attempts to examine his feelings without having to actually admit that he has them. If he's anything like the men I know, he's stuck on the question "Do I really like Pip? Or do I like Pip because someone else wants her?"
That question, I cannot answer as I do not know Boy 1 from the drag queen down the street.
Boy 2 is just Boy 2. Do with him what you will.
Where you may be overreacting is if Boy 1 really is a mature and honest example of the human species, then he may be attempting to let Boy 2 do his thing without coming out and telling you "Hey, I'm backing off so a friend of mine can take a swing." I don't think this is terribly likely, but it's been known to happen.
This shit part of the whole deal is the friendship with Boy 1 may be dead like a dead thing if this doesn't get resolved. My advice (like you want it after this little diatribe) is be blunt, to the point and just ask Boy 1. You know "Hey, Boy 1, are you pissed at me for choosing to spend time with Boy 2 and perhaps foster a romantic liason because you would prefer to connect romantically with me yourself? Or are you not interested in a romantic connection with me and are instead pissed off because you fear losing your only source of regular sex - allow me to repeat that only source of regular sex? Or are you just a territorial asshat?"
You know. Something like that.
I wish you all the luck in the world, darling.
Bronwyn