I am still alive

This week was my first week of 4/10s, working from 7am to 6pm.  And being on the phones every day.  For the most part it went all right,but today I ended up hiding in the bathroom in tears.  Possibly because my period started today and I was just extra emotional, because the call wasn't even mean, just very, very frustrating.  My last call was awesome, though, so I'm feeling a bit better.

I have tomorrow off, then officially start working on Sun, since we've still been training this week.  Am I scared?  Oh, hell yes!  Honestly, the reason I haven't been online much this past week was because I would come home, feed the cats, and then study as much as I could to try and get a handle on everything.  

Still... I felt like the biggest loser today after that call, like I couldn't do anything right and why did they hire me again?  I'm really hoping that Sunday is better and I don't feel like a complete idiot.  I've had the longest call times of my group, which isn't good, and they actually were supposed to have someone sit with me today to listen in and do a bit more training, which is just embarrassing.  I keep having to remind myself that I can do this job, and that I'm not going to blow it with every call I get.  I just - I really felt like crap today, and I can't even remember the last time I cried so hard.  

I think I'm going to cuddle my cats for a bit, take a hot bath, then go to bed and try to forget about today.  

Note to self

Hmm... Taking a Vicoden with anti-anxiety meds leads to tingling in the fingers and my brain falling asleep. Probably not a good idea to do that again.