Thoughts in the middle of the night
Jul. 18th, 2004 11:30 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
piploverIt's almost midnight here, but my mind won't let me sleep yet. I figured maybe if I put some of my thoughts down it would let me sleep. I'll put this behind a cut, because it is rather long.
I don't know how tomorrow is going to turn out. I don't want to go to work, because the thought of having to deal with the people in my section makes me cringe. I just want to curl up in a ball and hide from the world.
That's not really an option, though, so I figure the best way to deal with things tomorrow is to just keep my mouth closed and do what I have to do, and avoid those I can't stand as best I can.
It seems to me that this world is peopled with those who are afraid. Afraid of who they are, afraid of what is different from themselves. Afraid to show that it doesn't matter if a person is a bit odder than the rest. People are afraid of what they do not understand, and it seems that much more apparent where I am.
Young people, especially, who feel that they have something to prove to the rest of the world. I guess they just don't understand that the only one they ever have to prove anything to is themselves.
I wish people would take off their masks, and live as they are. That hateful words and snide remarks didn't sheild them from their own inadaquesies. And that people would spend a little less time fighting a battle that has no purpose, and spend more time just being themselves.
I am not going to lie and say that the things people say about me are not hurtful. They are. But I am going to take the advice my mom gave me, and try and find something positive about all this. I don't know what that is, yet, but I'm looking.
I guess I am just walking through Mordor right now, looking for Mount Doom to cast this damn burden into. I am lost, however, and I have no Sam to help me find the way. Only orcs, as far as the eye can see.
Perhaps they can see through my armor, and that is why they say the things they do, because they realize that I am not truly as they are. Or perhaps they are just being orcs, and since I am not (hopefully) they seem all the more harsh.
I wish I was back in the Shire, but I fear, like Frodo, I cannot go back. I litterally have no home anymore, though my family embraces me with open arms.
I have no home, and my beloved is far away.
I do not know the way.
Can someone point me in the direction of the nearest smoking volcanoe?
I don't know how tomorrow is going to turn out. I don't want to go to work, because the thought of having to deal with the people in my section makes me cringe. I just want to curl up in a ball and hide from the world.
That's not really an option, though, so I figure the best way to deal with things tomorrow is to just keep my mouth closed and do what I have to do, and avoid those I can't stand as best I can.
It seems to me that this world is peopled with those who are afraid. Afraid of who they are, afraid of what is different from themselves. Afraid to show that it doesn't matter if a person is a bit odder than the rest. People are afraid of what they do not understand, and it seems that much more apparent where I am.
Young people, especially, who feel that they have something to prove to the rest of the world. I guess they just don't understand that the only one they ever have to prove anything to is themselves.
I wish people would take off their masks, and live as they are. That hateful words and snide remarks didn't sheild them from their own inadaquesies. And that people would spend a little less time fighting a battle that has no purpose, and spend more time just being themselves.
I am not going to lie and say that the things people say about me are not hurtful. They are. But I am going to take the advice my mom gave me, and try and find something positive about all this. I don't know what that is, yet, but I'm looking.
I guess I am just walking through Mordor right now, looking for Mount Doom to cast this damn burden into. I am lost, however, and I have no Sam to help me find the way. Only orcs, as far as the eye can see.
Perhaps they can see through my armor, and that is why they say the things they do, because they realize that I am not truly as they are. Or perhaps they are just being orcs, and since I am not (hopefully) they seem all the more harsh.
I wish I was back in the Shire, but I fear, like Frodo, I cannot go back. I litterally have no home anymore, though my family embraces me with open arms.
I have no home, and my beloved is far away.
I do not know the way.
Can someone point me in the direction of the nearest smoking volcanoe?
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Date: 2004-07-19 07:29 am (UTC)Hobbit((((Kelley))))s
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