
The past few days I have been feeling rather like the stuff you find in the bottom of the sink drain. Not physically, as I have been feeling all right, but mentally drained.
I think part of it is being so far from home. Granted, I get to go home for Christmas this year, which is a dream come true, but for the most part, I am missing out on being with my family.
My first Christmas away from home was terrible. I was in Korea, and it was terribly cold, though it had not snowed very much. It was a biting cold that seemed to get into your bones and leave you shivering even an hour after you were warm back in your bed.
We had been pulling guard duty since Thanksgiving, as the Koreans were rioting and there had been some incidents of them breaking onto posts and injuring Americans. At first it was 24 hour duty, pulling QRF. That stands for Quick Reaction Force. We slept on icky smelling cots in an abandoned laundry on post, with the walls and windows all boarded up and drafty. We had space heaters placed about the room, but we couldn't take even our boots off, in case we were needed at a moment's notice.
After a time, we started to pull gaurd in 8 hour shifts. I pulled from either 5pm to 1 in the morning, or from 1am to 9. I was one of the lucky ones who got Christmas day off.
My boyfriend at the time was what really pulled me through. We made macaroni and cheese for Christmas dinner, because the defac was close, and none of the Korean resturants really celebrated Christmas.
I think the hardest part, however, aside from being so far away from my family, was that there were no Christmas movies.
Silly, isn't it? There I was, far from home, and the straw that broke the camel's back was no Christmas movies.
My family always watched movies on Christmas, eating pizza Christmas eve, drinking hot chocolate, and watching the fire burn down before going to bed.
I guess now I'm thinking of all my friends who are so far from home and family. My best friend, Adam, who just got engaged over the phone, and has only seen his girl once in a year. My fiance, who I have not seen in a year, and who I worry about constantly.
So many of my brothers and sisters are away from home this Christmas, and I wish, in some odd way, that I could be there with them. Because I guess the one thing I learned in Korea that I hold so dearly to my heart is this: Some days, all we have is each other.
My Drill Sgt at Basic used to tell us, "Just get through until lunch, and you will be all right." After lunch, he would tell us, "Just get through until dinner, and you will be all right." After dinner, it was, "Just get through until you can sleep."
I guess that all we can do when things start to seem too much, is take it minute by minute. Just make it through until I can sleep. Just make it through until breakfast.
Just make it through. And it will be all right.
It will be all right.
I'm sorry if this rambled on, and for those of you who read the whole thing, I am very impressed.
Take care, all, and talk to you soon.