Day 8

[piplover]

Day Eight: Three turn-ons.

This one is hard. I'm mostly asexual, but I do enjoy some sex.   I think the term grey-A is the best description.   So I don't actually have a lot of turn ons, sexually.     Still, I am a romantic, and enjoy intamcy.  So...

1)  Massages.

2)  Letting things build slowly, with no expecations.

3)  Snuggling. 

Comments

[nolan-ash.livejournal.com]

I hadn't heard of "grey-A" before and I'm glad I did some research to look it up. Thanks for teaching me something new! It's great to have friends who know what they want (or don't want).

Snuggling is the best. ♥

[piplover.livejournal.com]

Snuggling IS the best! :-) And I love learning new things about people and dynamics. I think it's fascinating!

I didn't realize there was such a term, either, until I got into Sherlock fandom, lol. The things being a fan teaches us!

Although I don't like putting labels on people, I have to admit it was nice realizing there was nothing wrong with me, and that there were other people who were the same. I had one friend who looked at me with horror when I told her I don't mind sex, but I'm perfectly fine without it.

I guess the best way I can describe it is that sex is like an ice cream sundae. I like one every now and then, but only occasionally, and too much makes me feel sick, lol. I

[nolan-ash.livejournal.com]

Although I don't like putting labels on people, I have to admit it was nice realizing there was nothing wrong with me, and that there were other people who were the same.

You said it. There's a huge difference between putting labels on other people and putting them on yourself. There's something very reassuring about having a word to describe a facet of your personality. If there's no word for it, then I must be a freak... but if there's specific terminology for my brand of weirdness, it's validating. There's others out there like me.

And sadly, I think others take you more seriously when there's a word to describe a way you differ from the mainstream. (As if I'd be "making it up" if there wasn't. *sigh*)

Libido is clearly a spectrum, not a universal constant. So to counteract the people who think about sexsexsex all the time, there must be lots of people who think about sex rarely, if at all. That's why it annoys me when people try to generalize with the sexes like "All men are horny all the time" or "women don't like sex." Both of these are provably false--we're all individuals, each with a different sex drive from the person next to us.

[songspinner9.livejournal.com]

And honestly, having been married for a long time, as we get older, sometimes snuggling is all we have the energy to do. And it becomes even more important...too many people forget that. :)

[piplover.livejournal.com]

I think people place way to much importance on sex and not enough on intimacy. I mean, you can have one without the other, but personally, I prefer intimacy to sex every time.

[songspinner9.livejournal.com]

I remember that when I went away to graduate school, leaving my fiancé and friends behind, I felt so hug-deprived that I'd drive back any weekend I could just to "stock up"... :)