All Things Sad Become Untrue

Earlier today I made the stupid mistake of answering the door to a salesman.  He had some cool products so I let him in.  I am an idiot!  After about ten minutes he started touching me, on the arm, my hip, he even touched my leg!   I told him I wasn't interested in buying anything, but he pulled the "I don't speak good English" card and pretended he didn't understand.  I told him I couldn't afford anything and wasn't going to buy anything, so he could leave. 

He asked me out.  I told him no.  At this point, I know I should have told him to get the hell out of my apartment and never come back, but I was still trying to be polite and told him I didn't want to buy anything.  He gave me his number, put me down on his possible future client list, and then finally left.

Well, about an hour ago he came back.  And rang my doorbell.  And called me four times when I didn't answer.  Then rang the doorbell another couple of times.  And just stood outside my door. 

I called the police and my mom, because all my Army training aside, the first thing I think of when I'm scared is to call my mom.  The guy left for a few minutes, called me a few more times, then came back to ring the bell a few more times.  Luckily, that was when the police showed up and told him to never darken my doorstep again.  I had to laugh when one officer asked the guy, "Does your wife know you're a pervert?" 

So hopefully, that is the end of that strange saga, and I can go back to being my regular stupid self, only without opening the door to salespeople.  Sorry, salespeople, but I'm a poor college student, anyway. 

I'm still shaking. 

Ok, so I'm chatting with one of my best friends who is over in Iraq at the moment, and this giant mutant bee keeps tring to eat me. He asks me what the hell is wrong, since we are webcaming each other and all he sees is me ducking around like a mad person. I tell him, and he tells me to get a can of pledge and spray the monster.
First attempt, the bee is on the cieling, so i get on a chair and spray him. He goes crazy and tries to kill me. Second attempt, I spray the heck out of him for like a whole minute. He is still on the cieling when I finally stop, so I go to tell my friend about my progress when i hear a loud splat. I scream like a little girl, jump up from my chair, and promptly slip on the now pledge covered floor, feet up in the air and everything as I come crashing down. Once I stop laughing, I manage to look around and find the bee about two inches from my face, still wiggling. Needless to say, I screamed a little more.
However, I can now safely report that the bee is thouroughly squashed, Adam is my hero for suggesting the pledge, and my room is once more bee free.
Wow, what an interesting day.